My life has changed because I have a best friend who listens to me and gives me encouraging support. I also gladly exercise daily, and cross train, which helps me fight the feeling of dis-ease mentally and physically. I have my moments of despair, but I try not to focus on them and change the energy by engaging in my favorite exercise. I have accomplished things that never would I have thought I would do and am grateful for my second chance. I use exercise to help me eat and drink nutritiously, and to keep my body and mind fit. I literally ran into a career that I never dreamed I would do.

Unfortunately, suicide, particularly among young people, is on the rise. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people aged 15–24 in the US. Nearly 20% of high school students report serious thoughts of suicide, and 9% have made an attempt to end their lives, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Not all people who are suicidal appear to be outwardly upset or even depressed. Asking for help can be very difficult because of the stigma that still surrounds the notion that being depressed, anxiety-filled, or feeling less than means you’re “mentally ill” and that there’s something wrong with you.

In this interview series, we are talking to suicide survivors. We want to share the stories of people who lost sight of their worth, how they overcame it when they were given a 2nd chance to live, and how they healed! We also want to share how these survivors went from SURVIVING to THRIVING in their lives.

As a part of this interview series I had the distinct pleasure to interview Bonnie Frankel.

Bonnie Frankel of running has been compared with the Billy Jean King of tennis. Both athletes opened up the doors for women that were once closed to them. Bonnie is nationally known for changing an NCAA rule which enabled women who were once denied to compete in a division one collegiate sport.

Thank you for your bravery and strength in being so open with us. I personally understand how hard this is. Before we dive in, can you tell our readers a little bit about yourself and what you do professionally?

Being no stranger to adversity and undertaking challenges, I relish in my glory to be a true survivor as well as to inspire others to follow my lead. The willingness to never give up through the use of the tool of exercise drives my success because it frees my mind and body to be mentally and physically fit. This enables me to live a stabilized life style in a world of uncertainties.

Professionally I inspire others as a role model to give exercise a whirl as other glimpse at me in the course of my daily exercise schedule. I also write articles in hopes to tempt others to be physically active, authored a book on finding the right exercise, lecturer, and an exercise coach.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

I am writing my second book with the intention to help others to understand the importance of exercising because physical movement helps to prevent us physically and mentally from going haywire. Lecturing at different schools and groups to encourage kids and adults to hook up with a physical activity that they enjoy doing. By doing this they will surround themselves with a group of people that will boost them to continue as well as having an in-house support system to communicate with.

Let’s now jump to the main part of our interview. Are you able to share with our readers what happened in your life that made you believe that there was no other way to end the pain you were experiencing except by taking your own life? Were you dealing with depression, bullying, substance abuse, anxiety, or other outside environmental issues, such as parents’ divorce, financial worries, loss, or rejection, that you felt like you couldn’t control?

There were too many unexpected as well as overwhelming events that transpired that were seemingly unbearable that drove me to this act. What I couldn’t distinguish at the time due to the emotional pain in my life would eventually lead me to a more suitable life’s path. I was dealing with depression, bullying, substance abuse, loss, rejection, divorce, and possibility of financial uncertainty.

The unexpected events began with my uncertain stormy battle with breast cancer which led to substance abuse. My then recent marriage to a doctor who became threatened by my independent pursuits. I was saddled with raising his troubled substance abuse son with no success. On top of all of the above my husband was having a lengthy affair and I was thinking about divorce. At the same time these uncomfortable changes were going on, I was getting more independent, and was exploring different avenues that interested me. I was pursuing different activities that interested me. What broke the camel’s back was my filing for divorce, which put me in a financial place of insecurity.

What did you want or need from your friends, family, or even yourself before you attempted to end your life?

I needed to have more faith in myself, be my best friend, and most importantly trust my own intuition. My living in a dysfunctional situation for any length of time is deadly. Exercise should have been a priority for me and it wasn’t. I needed to substitute the toxic remedies I was ingesting to dull the emotional pain, and replace it with the stimulation of happy endorphins to cleanse my mind.

My friends and family needed to be more sensitive and loving but they were terrified, judgmental and not equipped to deal with the discomfort of my situation. As for my family, they were more agitated because I restimulated the time when my mother attempted and finalized her life. My housekeeper was with me when I took the overdose, and she should have taken the bottle of pills aways from me. All of these things led me to believe that I lacked the right choices to support me.

What did you do to get help & support before you attempted? And if you didn’t ask for help, why?

I was in therapy with a psychologist for some time and my depression did not significantly change. Now in all fairness, I was not helping myself by medicating with toxic substances. This psychologist saw that I was getting more psychotic by an action I told her about and referred me to a psychiatrist. She put me on anti-depressant drugs. This helped at the beginning, and then I felt uncomfortable within because it numbed my mind. I was not getting better. What I needed was someone with the right strength and sensitivity to guide me to achieve the strength to go on.

What signs would you tell parents, friends, or loved ones to look for in people they think may need help?

Listen to as well as watch people’s actions. Predominantly, look for prolonged depression, anxiety, prolonged stress, health issues, and substance abuse are really the most common problems.

What should they ask or do if someone they love is saying things like they don’t want to live anymore?

Accompany them to be physically active, because the inhalation of H2O will Initiate the endorphins to help to shift their mood. Listen to them vent their feelings. Make sure that they are not alone. Last resort is to find a recommended professional or a mental health facility.

As you look back on your life now, what do you think was the biggest mistake you made before your attempt?

Staying too long in a toxic situation for the wrong reasons.

What did you do to get help & support after your attempt?

I had a friend whom I trusted at home that watched me with love and listened without judgment. We took daily walks to get my endorphins to stabilize my mental state. Also, I had a special friend who told me that healing from the guilt of the act would just take time. This person was right, my guilt lessoned as time passed.

What was the most helpful or healing part of your recovery?

When I moved out of my home and into a new apartment. I began an exercise regime for myself and sometimes included my dear friend. My apartment also had a pool where I could swim daily. I got a dog, and named her Happy. By saying that name it would subconsciously fill my head with happiness. When my divorce finalized, the judge suggested I go back to school and find out what I wanted to do with my life. My dear friend was an example which lured me even more to re-enter the educational system. I now had a direction and a new path.

What would you tell others who may be feeling suicidal that you wish someone would have told you?

Life has many phases, don’t let one bad phase end your life. Don’t linger on focusing on the negative instead pursue the positive.

How has your life changed? How are you doing now?

My life has changed because I have a best friend who listens to me and gives me encouraging support. I also gladly exercise daily, and cross train, which helps me fight the feeling of dis-ease mentally and physically. I have my moments of despair, but I try not to focus on them and change the energy by engaging in my favorite exercise. I have accomplished things that never would I have thought I would do and am grateful for my second chance. I use exercise to help me eat and drink nutritiously, and to keep my body and mind fit. I literally ran into a career that I never dreamed I would do.

What would you like to say to the millions of young adults between the ages of 15–25 years old? What is your message to them?

Drop your ego and ask for help. This isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. Replace substance abuse with exercise. Join healthy supportive groups, so when you are in a jam, you have listening power, communication, and most of all solid support.

Based on your own experience, are you able to share five things you learned about yourself and about life because of this traumatic incident? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.

I have an impulsive personality — I have a tendency to act before I think things through.

I am my own worst critic — I am very hard on myself because of my strive for perfection and nothing is.

I never give up — I never gave up fighting to live to find my niche once I attempted suicide

I am an inspiration to others — My life story is an example that others can thrive from adversity

I am not fearful of a challenge — I love to tackle injustices that seem to be impossible to change.

What are you doing now that you’re the proudest of? How are you making a difference in the world by having the gift of a second chance?

I use my gift of movement to overcome my need for toxic substances and to keep my moods joyous. This helps to guide me to live a mentally/ physically healthy life style and attract healthy friends. It gives me the impetus to inspire others to follow my lead.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the largest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

Listen to others without judgment.